One Year since the death of Winter... Reflections on losing my first foster.
One year ago, almost to the exact hour I am starting this note, I came home and found Winter dead. Lots of people use sweet sounding words, like "passed on" or "left us," or whatever, but he had died and was dead. It was devastating. I already wrote on losing him last week, with regards to All Paws on Deck, but I figured I'd write a bit more because it was one of those crazy days. Winter lived with me for six months. He came with his sister Autumn, liberated from ACCT, and reunited in my apartment. They were terribly sick for a few weeks, and then recovered. A bonded pair, they were a tough adoption, and Autumn finally found her forever home a few weeks after Winter died, from a severe urinary blockage and heart failure. Winter was an amazing cat. He was never more than three feet away from me in this apartment, always following me, always by my side, always meowing his distinctive two-tone meow. I will always miss him. Six months of him left a permanent mark on my heart, the figurative paw print. Today, as I reflected on him, I drove several transport trips. Four dogs went to the Animal Alliance of NJ in Lambertville; given new chances, these happy, jolly pups (including a bonded pair like Autumn and Winter) were thrilled to find themselves in Lambertville. Later, I was home and asked by our Lifesaving department to bring a dog to rescue, a dog that needed to leave by 8 tonight. I went to ACCT, and saw this dog, who had been marked for euthanasia days ago. I could not believe she was still around. I had visited her, as I try to visit those who will soon lose their lives, and found her shy and withdrawn, but she approached the front of her kennel and sniffed me. Today, she came out and walked, but was scared, nervous and not too interactive, though several friendly people approached her. She balked repeatedly before finally entering my car, but was still nervous, standing and wide-eyed. After about 35 minutes, she layed down. When we got to rescue, she got up and her tail started wagging tentatively at first, and then as she climbed the steps she started to get a bounce in her steps, then she let herself get pet, then she gave an open-mouthed doggie smile.. it was amazing to watch the first smile.. THEN.. then she began to give kisses. All the fear, all the hesitation just FELL off of her. She was transformed. She was alive. She was a new dog. I then took the little black kitten to rescue. He had had maggot-infested wounds, and had sat for days in intake, getting cleaned and tended. I did not believe he lasted as long as he did, and then suddenly he was in my carrier, and on my way to rescue. He is safe and warm and gobbling food. So why these two stories? People who volunteer at kill-shelters shed a lot of tears, but lots of these tears are connected to miracles we see, and miracles we help facilitate. Today, earlier, I posted a graphic of beautiful cats in need of foster homes, and I want to reiterate the joys and beauty of fostering. We shed tears as we move these foster animals into their forever homes, but we immediately get renewed purpose when we load up that next foster animal in our car, and start the process over. Some people can volunteer at these intake shelters, shelters in which there is a desperate battle to save lives each and every day. Each day one takes an animal into foster care, one is directly saving a life, and all the other affiliated tasks also help save lives, or at worst, provide comfort to an animal who will never get the chance to leave. When I lost my Winter, I fell to pieces. The wonderful people at the shelter picked up each of these pieces of my heart, returned them to me, and helped me to reassemble them and move on. The many albums on my profile attest to how many have been saved since I lost Winter. I was able to do this because so many people surrounded me with love and support. That is what we do. We support each other. We hold each other's hearts together and we keep on working. Some people cannot volunteer and foster as we do, but, this is the GOOD news, there are many rescues at which one can volunteer, for which one can foster. Those who volunteer at rescues contribute wonderfully to our shared cause. Every time, a foster parent takes in an animal for a rescue, that rescue is able to rescue one more from our shelter. That way, we can all save lives. Today was a sad day for me, but I was so busy driving animals around I was unable to dwell on it. Winter brought me joy, and I know he was happy, and I know he loved me. His constant presence by my side, at the foot of my bed, attest to this. We all lose someone we love at some point, and our animals live shorter lives than we do, but the reward of knowing them really is a great reward. I invite all my friends to join me in this work. We need people to foster, to drive transports, to advertise our animals, to photograph them, to sort the important paperwork.. there are so many ways we can do this work. Remember, you are not only saving the life of the animal you save and the one who takes that animal's place, but you are also helping families find those animal companions that make them happy and give them the love that Winter gave me. Today was a day.. June 16th will always have a poignancy.. it is a sad day, but a day in which I shall rededicate myself to my work, because Winter brought me so much, and so many others deserve that chance.